Posted on March 26, 2013
The Dating Diaries by Maximillian.
The brink of carnal heaven and financial ruin.
Many people have at one time walked into a lawyer’s office.
Certainly I remember this office in London where the doorman exaggerates the pronunciation of ‘Pleeaaze Sir’, before you step into a richly carpeted and furnished office for which you will soon pay. I felt the same experience when I entered the world , a respectable office which can bring you to the brink of carnal heaven and financial ruin.
It is as difficult to pull someone back from it as it is to pull back a pig who is about to eat a truffle. Men, even when they know they are being conned, want to go on and find out about it with the faint illusion that sexual nirvana may still be possible.
Most of the best letters which came my way through the dating site held out precisely that promise.
As con artists, some authors are real geniuses, their letters jewels of erotic literature. My friend John has a different outlook.
He and I jointly participate in the exercise of finding a partner through a dating site. But whereas John mostly wants his fair share of fun, I do it in the hope of finding serious companionship, a partner. After a short while you recognise a free instantly by the picture, the profile or the first letter.
Posted on March 26, 2013
Their picture is usually a dead giveaway. In general, they are simply too beautiful to be real. In this day and age, beauty, Botox and Photoshop are prized above the mind. This is why it is just not credible for a young lady who would immediately qualify as a top model for Valentino to resort to a respectable dating site, the Cyberspace green light district, as opposed to the steamier raw sex red light district of Amsterdam.
The profiles of scammers show many similarities and standard phrases: looking for elder men, the sucker element apparently increasing with age; a favourite expression is ‘age is just a number’; an expressed willingness to be unselfishly at the total beck and call of the partner, looking and expressing a firm belief in fairytale type of romance and eternal bliss. It is often childish and totally unrealistic.
The letters are sometimes absolutely amazing; little jewels of flaming romance, hungry fiery love blossoming out of nowhere and nothing like the big bang, the average man’s dream. But is it? I read many of them carefully and realised not just that they were fake of course but that most of them were actually written by men, not women. They pander to male erotic and overtly sexual desires in ways that men may dream about but few women would ever do. To me the expressed sexual fantasies, the sometimes crude phrases remind me of brutal attempts to snare a rabbit and are inconceivable coming from women looking for serious companionship.
Posted on March 26, 2013
The tricks are beautiful in their simplicity, if not in style. Tooth implants are a favourite for ladies east of the river Bug (Poland). Now it so happens that I have considerable experience with tooth implants and, frankly, I don’t know what it is with Russian ladies that they invariably ask for money for a tooth implant. Teeth have this weird aspect about them of being in an undetermined way vaguely outside the body and for which preferably someone else should be responsible. For the care of the body you are medically insured, for Botox you pay, but for teeth the potential boyfriend/lover of the present becomes the tooth fairy of the morning. Before I decided to eliminate all potential candidates east of the river Bug, maybe with an exception, I had met on the dating site this drop dead gorgeous (according to her pictures) 45-year-old doctor from Novgorod.
A quiet and rather nice correspondence developed. A friend of mine, more experienced in the ways of the world, to whom I one evening confided over dinner was sceptical; ‘she will ask for money, you’ll see’, was his laconic conclusion. I doubted him and progressed to Skype. Wow! She really was stunning and her English was, for once, excellent. Despite that, the discussion never really took off and was strained with long silences. It lacked inspiration and fluency. She told me all about her work, how hard life was, which always starts alarm bells ringing in my head, and showed absolutely no interest in anything else except uttering a few non-descript romantic expressions. Then she completely disappeared for a long while and came back out of the blue wailing for money. She needed a tooth implant, for which apparently no one else had been willing to lend her the sum. Bingo! My friend had been right; I was disappointed, not at this scam attempt but at me having deluded myself that the picture she had drawn about herself was in any way honest. It was pathetic as she could have read in my profile that I don’t go for that sort of stuff and never pay.
Anyway, saddening as it was in the eerie world of virtual romance, I said bye bye with words like ‘we’ll always have Novgorod’, even if it was not quite the same as Humphrey Bogart’s: ‘we’ll always have Paris’, in the movie Casablanca. Besides, I don’t think Ingrid Bergman needed a tooth implant!
Posted on March 15, 2013
Online dating firm Cupid plc sees share value plunge.
One of UK’s biggest online dating providers has seen its shares fall by more than half after announcing an audit into the way it operates.
Shares in Edinburgh-based Cupid Plc, fell by 57% to 49p.Last month a BBC investigation spoke to internet surfers who said they had lots of messages when they signed up to the sites as free users.But when they paid up, interest rapidly tailed off.
Cupid denied at the time it was creating user profiles on its websites to entice new customers to sign up or that the company sent communications in order to tempt free members to pay subscriptions.
Its chairman, Bill Dobbie, said it had about 500 “staff profiles” on its websites – but he insisted they were used for moderating chat rooms and forums – and to root out scammers.
Now a blogger, John Hempton of Bronte Capital, has revealed that he set up a fake profile – a Cupid Plc site.He made his profile – headed “Fat, lazy, poor sick guy wants support” – as unpleasant as possible, including saying he suffered from a sexually transmitted disease, to see what sort of reaction he would get on the site.
“Strangely and almost immediately a fair few age-appropriate and good-looking women want to talk to my false profile. Girls I could not get normally I think,” Mr Hempton said on his blog.
“After a couple of weeks (and having allowed my profile on other Cupid sites such as benaughty.com) I have about 50 women who want to talk to me and about 190 emails in my specially set-up account.”Mr Hempton’s story was then featured in a Financial Times blog.
On Friday Cupid Plc said the company was “aware of a recent article and is carrying out an investigation into the allegations therein”.It also said it had commissioned an independent audit by one of the “big four accounting firms”.”Cupid plc confirms it does employ a motivation team of 24 people working across three shifts,” it added.
Posted on February 2, 2013
When a college girlfriend called to tell me she was dating someone new, I asked the standard, superficial questions any 20-something pal would:
“He’s a foot taller than me!”
“What does he do?”
“He’s actually just finishing up school.”
“He’s in your master’s program?”
At the time, a year ago now, he was 20 and she was 23.
Mrs. Robinson she’s not; their three-year age difference isn’t exactly shocking. It makes sense that two students (she was earning a master’s degree and he was working toward his bachelor’s) would meet working a part-time job.
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Yet, during a recent gathering of girlfriends, she seemed to be the target of as many cougar jokes as Mariah Carey was in 2008 when she married Nick Cannon. (At 32, Cannon is a decade younger than the singer.) It probably didn’t help that, at the start of their relationship, my friend’s suitor couldn’t legally accompany her to the bar.
“It makes people really uncomfortable for some reason,” she said in response to my own mindless cougar quip.
As the public becomes accustomed to tales of 40- and 50-year-old women who date younger men, 20- and 30-something women who do the same are still regarded as a strange species. In popular parlance, these young lovers of even younger men are dubbed “pumas.”
Take actress Jamie-Lynn Sigler, for example. After announcing her engagement to 23-year-old baseball player Cutter Dykstra last week, the 31-year-old took flak in some online comment sections.
“I can’t imagine being 31 and relating so much to a 23 y/o male…they are too immature still!” said one commenter. Another called Sigler “a mini cougar.”
One People.com commenter even suggested that 2013 was “the year of the ‘young-er cougar,’ ” noting that race car driver and model Danica Patrick, 30, is dating fellow driver Ricky Stenhouse Jr., 25.
Filed Under Contrarianism, Cruel online dating, Dates, Dating, Dating one, Lingerie model, Message, News Project, Night, Popstar, Program, Relationship, Seriously good design, Time, Wingman, Women | Difference | Comments Off
Posted on February 2, 2013
Three to five years hardly calls for puma and cougar jokes, said Hugo Schwyzer, a professor of history and gender studies at Pasadena City College. If it were the women who were three to five years younger, he added, people would say it’s the perfect age gap.
“The biggest obstacle (these couples) are going to face is this enduring myth that boys develop more slowly than girls,” Schwyzer said. “We just repeat that as if that’s absolutely true. It is developmentally largely true when dealing with infants and toddlers … but once you get to adulthood, you know, 18 is 18.”
Of course, as far as “The Twilight Saga” is concerned, 18 isn’t always 18. While Bella jokes that she’s “not really into the whole cougar thing” regarding a guy two years her junior, her seemingly teenage vampire boyfriend is actually more than 100 years older than she is — and that’s not creepy at all?
As more Hollywood actresses and models, such as Eva Longoria, date younger men, the unwarranted stigma surrounding such relationships will fade, matchmaker Patti Stanger said.
But for now, a Celebuzz gallery titled “Hollywood’s cougars” includes Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban. She’s four months older than he is.
Stanger’s general rule of thumb for dating, regardless of who is on the winter end of the May-December romance, is “10 up, 10 down.” If a couple is 11 years apart in age, she said, “don’t cry. It’s no big deal. But if you go 15, you’re screwed.” Stanger has also mentioned this notion on her reality show, “The Millionaire Matchmaker,” which is in its sixth season on Bravo. On the series, she often takes on male and female clients who are looking for someone significantly younger than they are.
When that happens, Stanger added, cultural references are lost and one person assumes the caretaker role, which can be a problem when that person is the woman.
Filed Under People, Popstar, Program, Program advises, Reality, Really took, Relationship, Seriously good design, Single, Social media, Social networking, Starts, Teen dating violence, Time, Uncategorized, Wingman, Women | Perfect | Comments Off
Posted on February 2, 2013
Seth Cohen and Blair Waldorf Might Be Dating.
Adam Brody and Leighton Meester are dating! Maybe. The photo isn’t that convincing, but we’re willing to overlook that because we really hope it is true. Although it would be ideal if Brody was back dating Summer Roberts Rachel Bilson, that probably won’t happen.
A few people saw Brody and Meester getting cuddly at the Los Angeles County Museum of Art this week.
The Josh Schwartz proteges recently starred in The Oranges, where Meester’s character falls in love with a friend of her parents’ (Hugh Laurie) instead of the more age-appropriate Adam Brody character.
In real life, Brody is sarcastic and self-deprecating (like Seth Cohen, the OC character that made him a star); Meester, on the other hand, isn’t a manipulative diva like her Gossip Girl queen bee.
Seth Cohen was every girl’s nerd dream in the early 2000s and he really needs to get back into the spotlight. He’ll be appearing next alongside Amanda Seyfried in Lovelace. Meester just finished the sixth and final season of Gossip Girl.
Worlds are colliding, but in an awesome and completely unexpected way. She brought headbands back; he invented Chrismukkah. Need we say more?
Posted on February 1, 2013
“When you do 15 years, when you do Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher, it’s going to run its course,” she added. “It can’t last when the woman is older than the man. When the man is older than the woman, unfortunately, there is a double standard and it does last. Especially in different cultures … that is the norm because a man is supposed to provide and guide for his woman.”
The puma and cougar debate also has a place among gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender daters, though the lines are blurrier. When 26-year-old actress Amber Heard and 36-year-old photographer Tasya van Ree went public with their relationship in 2010, age wasn’t at the forefront of reports the way it was for Carey and Cannon.
“Opinions on age difference run the gamut from fearful to desirable,” author Dave Singleton wrote regarding the gay community in his Match.com column, “Ask Dave.”
“There’s no hard and fast rule on whether age differences sink the love boat,” Singleton wrote. “But age is definitely a factor when you date someone. … In my research with gay men for my book, ‘The Mandates: 25 Real Rules for Successful Gay Dating,’ I never met one who described a date without telling me the guy’s age first.”
As Schwyzer says, “The problem is largely cultural at this time. … (There will be) jokes about robbing a cradle. The expectations are somehow that (a woman is) not capable of being with a grown man and has thus chosen to date someone who our society thinks of as a boy.”
Posted on February 1, 2013
In October, London-based video blogger Emily Hartridge, 28, posted a video about the benefits of dating a younger man. The comedic vlog listed reasons such as “younger guys try harder to please you” and “you get to feel more in charge” among the perks.Another plus for some career-driven, powerful women in their 20s and 30s, Schwyzer said, is that millennial men tend to be more open about gender roles.
“For decades women have moved into traditionally male spaces,” he added. “With some millennial guys … we’re not seeing more guys who are feminine, but flexible.”
For my friend, the best thing about dating a younger man — at least her younger man — is that there’s no noticeable age difference at all.
I can pick on her all I want for dating someone the same age as my younger sister. And I’ll probably continue to do so — out of love, of course. But truth be told, there’s less of a cultural gap between her and her younger beau than there was between my last boyfriend and me. At six years my senior, he was behind the wheel of a car while I was still riding around the neighborhood on my Razor scooter.
At least my “cougar” friend and her juvenile boyfriend can both recall growing up listening to cassette tapes, playing video games on the original PlayStation, and watching Bill Clinton deny that he had “sexual relations with that woman” — even if one of them wasn’t quite sure what that meant at the ripe old age of 6.
Filed Under Actress, Appropriate education, Bad romance, Believe, Best, Contrarianism, Cruel online dating, Dates, Dating, Dating one, Directional, Facilitate spontaneous | Powerful women | Comments Off
Posted on January 31, 2013
Smartphone as Wingman.
With Valentine’s Day looming, Adele Ernsberger decided to go on a blind date. But instead of having a friend set her up, she turned to a smartphone app. Ms. Ernsberger suggested a bar she knew would be crowded, but not a place she normally visited. Then Crazy Blind Date, an app recently released by the dating service OkCupid, found a man who was willing to meet her there. She knew nothing about her match ahead of time — the app did not even show her a photograph. Still, she had fun, and the pair quickly scheduled a second meeting.
“When you meet someone in person you have a gut feeling about them,” Ms. Ernsberger, 28, explained. “I thought the worst that could come out of it was a hilarious story.”
Dating apps like Crazy Blind Date, Tinder, Moonit and the Game are trying to reinvent online dating by replacing the process of browsing profiles and initiating lengthy exchanges before meeting face-to-face with gamelike interactions that move things along quickly.
For Ms. Ernsberger, this was the appeal of Crazy Blind Date: It broke the ice and then got out of the way.
Of course there are others who cannot imagine going on a date without so much as a phone call beforehand. But OkCupid says that more than 200,000 people have downloaded its new app and that hundreds of dates are happening each day.
Posted on January 30, 2013
The effort to facilitate spontaneous social interactions with location-aware smartphones goes beyond dating, and a number of startups take different approaches to the idea.
Once you have signed up for Highlight, an iPhone and Android app, your smartphone constantly searches for other people in its system who are nearby. When you get close enough to another user, the app notifies you of the user’s presence and gives you information about your common interests and mutual friends. Whether you initiate contact is up to you.
This idea caused a big stir at the South by Southwest conference in Austin last March, when a few similar services were introduced.Highlight does not disclose the size of its user base, though its Android app has been downloaded more than 100,000 times.
But at this stage, the app makes New York City seem like a sparsely populated town. The same people popped up on my screen while I was testing it, and my few attempts to reach users who shared an interest went unanswered.
Despite the loyalty of some early adopters, it is not clear that apps like Highlight can convince people that they are more beneficial than creepy. Many similar apps have failed to take off, or have shifted their focus. But Paul Davison, Highlight’s founder, said it always took time for people to warm up to technology that let them interact in new ways.
“It’s not because we’ve tried it and decided we don’t like sharing that way,” he said.“It’s because we’re not comfortable with it yet.”
Posted on January 9, 2013
House Bill 98 seeks to reduce teen dating violence.
Five days out of seven, domestic violence advocate Charlsie Banks says she gets word of a middle or high school student who is in an abusive dating relationship.
“It’s everywhere and there’s not a lot being done to combat it,” said Banks, the director of a Renfro Valley-based regional domestic violence program.
It’s not unusual for Kentucky teens to be hit, slapped, shoved or sexually assaulted by their boyfriends or girlfriends, advocates say.
Under House Bill 98, introduced in the General Assembly by State Rep. Joni Jenkins and assigned to the House Education Committee, incidents of dating violence between students ages 13 to 19 in Kentucky schools would have to be reported to the state Department of Education by school staff and included in a statewide data collection system. The bill is directed at teens in ongoing, not casual, relationships.
“We have the ability to collect data and that data’s going to help us make better decisions about where our resources should go,” said Jenkins, D-Shively. Jenkins’ bill also requires that local school boards set policies to deal with teen dating violence.
Posted on January 8, 2013
Under the bill, boards must incorporate age-appropriate education about teen dating violence into the curriculum for students in seventh through 12th grades. Board members would have to establish procedures for how school employees respond to teen dating violence that takes place at the school, on school grounds, at school-sponsored events, or in school vehicles. The legislation requires the Kentucky Center for School Safety to develop materials on teen dating violence for teachers, guidance counselors and principals to study on their own for a minimum of one hour each year.
“Representative Jenkins’ bill gives schools another tool to help combat the growing violence experienced by teens,” said Sherry Currens, executive director of the Kentucky Domestic Violence Association. “When we know that young women between the ages of 16 and 24 experience the highest rate of relationship violence, we have no choice but to intervene.”
Kentucky Center for School Safety Director Jon Akers said center officials support the legislation and are willing to research this topic alongside other agencies that want to develop information for schools.
As a high school principal, Akers said he saw several cases of dating abuse involving teen boys who slapped or shoved their girlfriends.
If a boy chooses his girlfriend’s clothes or texts her 15 times asking her “where you at, where you at, where you at,” said Banks, the girl may take it as a compliment “when actually it’s control.”
“A lot of parents don’t see what’s happening because their kids are all engulfed in their Facebook and on their cellphones,” Banks said.
Posted on January 7, 2013
The 2011 Kentucky Youth Risk Behavior Survey, which is voluntary and is administered to a randomly selected sample of middle and high school students across the state, showed that the percentage of high school students who were hit, slapped or otherwise physically hurt “on purpose” by their boyfriends or girlfriends during the past 12 months was 14.3 percent.
Felicia Laks, 17, of Lexington said she has not been a victim of teen dating violence, but she’s observed its effects and she says the legislation “is a good first step.”
“I’ve had friends who have suffered from dating violence and didn’t really speak to anybody about it until after the fact,” said Laks. “I think it’s important to let teenagers know there are ways to get help and ways to get out of dangerous relationships.”
Officials from the state Department of Education are reviewing the bill and haven’t yet taken a position, spokeswoman Nancy Rodriguez said.
Students in Kentucky already are learning about ways to prevent teen dating violence through the Green Dot program, which began more than five years ago at the University of Kentucky and is now in Kentucky high schools and at least 60 college campuses nationwide. Green Dot teaches students to intervene safely and effectively when they spot dating violence.
Eileen Recktenwald of the Kentucky Association of Sexual Assault Programs said Kentucky rape crisis centers are engaged in a five-year, $2 million research project in cooperation with a team at UK led by researchers Ann Coker and Patty Cook-Craig to evaluate the effectiveness of the Green Dot program.
The study is funded by the federal Centers for Disease Control. Twenty-six Kentucky high schools are working with rape crisis centers to evaluate whether teen dating violence in their school has been reduced under Green Dot.
Filed Under Officials, Online dating industry, People, Popstar, Program, Program advises, Reality, Really took, Relationship, Seriously good design, Single, Social media, Social networking, Starts, Time, Uncategorized, Women | Officials | Comments Off
Posted on January 3, 2013
Love, money and the online dating industry.
Dan Slater offers a lively account of the business of online dating, in which a website’s happy customer is a lost revenue source.
At the heart of the new book “Love in the Time of Algorithms” is a philosophical question: does the billion-dollar dating industry, whose currency is the perpetual promise of new relationships, signal the death of commitment?
It is the question posed to Sam Yagan, chief executive of free dating website OkCupid, by the book’s author, Dan Slater. “That’s really a point about market liquidity,” replies Yagan, a graduate of Harvard University and Stanford Business School, and a self-confessed “math guy” who says he knows nothing about dating.
Justin Parfitt, a British dating entrepreneur, answers the question more bluntly. The industry is thinking: Let’s keep this customer coming back to the site as often as we can, he said, “and let’s not worry about whether he’s successful. There’s this massive tension between what would actually work for you, the user, and what works for us, the shareholders. It’s amazing, when you think about it. In what other industry is a happy customer bad for business?”
These responses represent the dissonance between the romantic ideal of love held by many customers and the approach of the entrepreneurial nerds who set up the matchmaking sites. The disparity is well drawn in this lively book by Slater, a former legal affairs reporter for the Wall Street Journal, who had racked up quite a few of his own cyber dates by age 31, following the demise of a long-term relationship.
A book on the dating industry would be soulless without tales of the customers — the cyber daters. Published by Current, “Love in the Time of Algorithms: What Technology Does to Meeting and Mating” is strewn with stories of blossoming romances, bed-hoppers and borderline sociopaths.
Posted on January 1, 2013
There is Carrie, a single mom in New York, who clicks the box for “full figured,” saying that while she is bigger than Kim Kardashian, she is not as big as “big and beautiful.” (In the search for love, these things matter.) After several false starts with men who find the “kid thing” a sticking point, Carrie meets her match in a Puerto Rican computer technician who’s an atheist.
There is also Jacob in Oregon, who knows he can afford to take things slow with the pharmacist because he can always have sex with another online date. Or, as he likes to think of it: “There’s always a pepperoni pizza in the trunk.”
The writer delves into his own personal history — his parents met in the 1960s through a pioneering computer dating service. His father’s comments, that “these days they’re all over the Internet. I think they’re mostly for desperate people, though,” indicate the stigma that has dogged the industry.
Slater’s account of the history of the cyber dating industry — from huge clunky old computers to modern complex computer algorithms — is well detailed. And he brings out the fierce rivalry between free and paid-for sites and the new possibilities for finding a date across the street using smartphones and innovative “freemium” sites.
The stated aim of this book is how online dating is “remaking the landscape of modern relationships,” which is an ambitious goal for 240 pages. The sweep is huge: Nigerian scammers preying on the lonely; paunchy middle-aged men trafficking poor young South American and Russian women; math geeks competing for a share of the love market; and adult babies seeking matronly diaper-changers.
The author also brandishes so many ideas — a bit of behavioral economics here, a bit of biological determinism there — that it is hard to focus when so much is competing for the reader’s attention. It is a dizzying attempt to demonstrate the author’s mastery of the zeitgeist.
In the final chapter, Slater writes that he has tried to avoid “passing judgment on all the many behaviors, new and old, facilitated by the date-o-sphere”. Yet this well-reported romp through the digital love marketplace would have benefited from a slightly more domineering author.
Posted on November 21, 2012
Cruel online dating con has cost one OAP his heart .. and £70k.
Crystal doesn’t look like your typical Nigerian scam artist. That’s because she isn’t – but someone has cynically used her picture to con Mirror reader John out of £70,000.
For the past year, 68-year-old John, from Stoke-on-Trent, has been exchanging soppy emails and instant messages online with 30-year-old Crystal Brian, apparently from Abeokuta, Nigeria, calling her the “love of my life”.
There’s no fool like an old fool, some of you reading this will no doubt think. But after speaking to life-long bachelor John, we can’t help feeling sympathy for a man so cruelly conned.
John met Crystal a year ago on a dating site and the pair were soon corresponding every day. Over the course of hundreds of messages, Crystal said she planned to move to the UK and John offered to help with the cost.
After paying for her airline ticket and even sending her the taxi fare, Crystal began asking for more help to bribe corrupt officials into providing the official paperwork she said she needed.
But every time John sent the cash, it came too late, and another bribe was required.
He raised another £31,000 in equity release from his home and sent Crystal the lot. Broke and unable to pay another £11,000 bribe – but refusing to accept he had been scammed – John turned to us for help.
We knew it was a con. The Serious Organised Crime Agency estimates that 200,000 Britons have fallen victim to romance scams. But we needed to prove it to John.
The Nigerian High Commission confirmed that there are no fees for Nigerians to leave the country – they just need to pay for a passport (around £60), a visa from the British High Commission (around £78) and, of course, a plane ticket.
But John wouldn’t accept that. “Of course they aren’t going to admit that you need to pay a bribe,” he replied, using the kind of logic that you can’t argue with.
It was only when we were able to use an online image search to prove that the pictures he thought were of his beloved “Crystal” were actually of a porn star calling herself Kayla Banks – who had nothing to do with the scam – that the penny dropped at last.
John has finally told his story to the police but, we’re sorry to say, yesterday sent the scammers £20 of the little money he has left.
After confronting them online, “Crystal” threatened suicide and poor John fell for it. It seems we can’t help John but perhaps his story will save someone else’s life savings.
Posted on November 18, 2012
Older women dating revealing too much (information) online.
The percentage of Americans over age 50 on social networking sites nearly doubled from 2009 to 2010, according to the Pew Research Center.
Some of those older adults are logging on to dating sites, but they might not be as savvy as they should be about how to protect their privacy, according to one researcher.Carla VanderWeerd, assistant professor in the College of Public Health at the University of South Florida said online dating sites can be great way for older women to meet a potential mate. But there are risks.
VanderWeerd recently analyzed more than 150 MySpace profiles of women 55 and over looking for dating or relationships near Tampa. She found that about three-quarters used the default privacy settings on the site.
“What that means is that anybody can see the photos that they’re showing, they can see the blogs, they know whether their families live close to them or far away, they know if they’re discussing what their mental health issues might be,” VanderWeerd said. “A lot of older women are describing these things publicly in their online profile.”
Since VanderWeerd collected her data, MySpace has moved back to its roots as a music-sharing site. But results from the free dating site Plenty of Fish are showing similar disclosure trends, according to VanderWeerd. She said that is putting some of the women in her sample at serious risk.
“If you’re a perpetrator and you’re looking for someone who might be more vulnerable, it’s very easy to target someone whose family perhaps lives far away, who might have some sort of disability that might make it more easy to victimize that person,” VanderWeerd said.
Vanderweerd said she does not know if disclosure trends are different for younger adults on dating sites, but older women are often seen as more vulnerable in general, so more information being revealed may put them at greater risk.
Older online dater Nina Todor is careful about her privacy. The Ewing, New Jersey woman says she even changed her email address so potential dates can’t see her last name. The worst experience she’s had: a bad phone conversation.
“It was about politics,” Todor said.
Before the election, a contact spoke strongly about his own political beliefs.
“And when he got finished, he said, and ‘you haven’t said anything, and I don’t really want to hear what you have to say,’ and he hung up,” Todor said. “That was the worst, I really have been very lucky.”
Todor is on a paid dating site, where only other members can see her profile, which makes her feel more secure.
VanderWeerd said her research isn’t meant to scare older women away from online dating, just encourage them to be more careful about the information they reveal.
Posted on November 7, 2012
Women tended to under-report their weight by an average of 3.8kgs but the lies ranged from 16kgs heavier and 9kgs lighter on their profiles compared with reality.
Not only do we expect people to lie on internet dating profiles, studies show that most of us think that a bit of lying is actually okay.A further study published in 2011 in New Media & Society found that people considered lying acceptable if it was possible that the lie could become true in the future.
For example, you can get away with telling potential partners that you’re 5kgs lighter than you are, a non-smoker, or slightly more senior at work, because it’s possible that these traits might change. Many online daters figured that these weren’t deceptions, so much as aspirations.
However things that can’t be changed in the near future, such as losing a significant amount of weight, growing a few inches, no longer having children, erasing a criminal record, or transitioning from mail boy to CEO, are deal breakers and are unlikely to lead to a second date.How, then, do you tell the keepers from the fibbers?
In an ideal world it would be great to run a lie detector app over an internet dating profile to save yourself the lipstick and awkwardness of meeting somebody who had misrepresented themselves. Unfortunately this is some way off. Since online profiles can be edited over time, they allow people to build up quite complex deceptions Nevertheless, researchers have uncovered some patterns within the free-text sections of the profile that could indicate lying.
For example liars tend to say less in their profiles. The researchers suggest that this is because they don’t want to contradict previous deceptions.
Similarly, when they wanted to hide or distract from a particular feature, they used fewer words to describe that aspect of themselves. For example, people who lied about their weight used fewer words about food and eating.
And people who posted an inaccurate photo of themselves tended to over-compensate by talking up other positive and accurate features of their lives.
So in a nutshell, if you are in the dating market, and you stumble across someone who hasn’t written much, but has a list of accomplishment rivaled only by Steve Jobs, then you could end up meeting that proverbial dog.
Then again, this lie detection method is an imprecise science, so he may be that tantric, domesticated conversationalist after all.
Posted on November 1, 2012
SUSAN BOYLE IS TOO SCARED TO TRY INTERNET DATING.
Scottish spinster SUSAN BOYLE is too scared to try out Internet dating in her quest for love.
The 51-year-old single singer is desperate to find her soulmate but she wants an old-fashion romance and has ruled out surfing the web to find her perfect man.
She tells the Daily Mirror, “Internet dating? Are you having a laugh? Knowing my luck I’d go out on a date and you’d find my limbs scattered around various (Scottish town) Blackburn dustbins!
“I believe in letting things happen naturally and not shopping for a man on the Internet. If my soulmate is out there then I will find him but it won’t be on a computer.”
However, Boyle has accepted she may never find Mr. Right, adding, “Of course I’d like that special someone in my life, but I’m not going to let a man define me. I’ve done pretty well over the past 51 years without one but it would be nice.”
Posted on October 5, 2012
Seriously good design: Why Henry Holland is more than a figure of fashion fun.
Don’t say the F word!” designer Henry Holland shouts, en route to our shoot with his friend Pixie Geldof. “If the headline on this article is ‘House of Fun’, I will be sending it back to you – once I’ve shredded it – in a Ziploc bag.”
Trouble is, I’m having quite a lot of it (fun) in the back of this taxi, balancing a meat and potato pie made by Holland’s stepmum on my lap and listening to him tease his PR team. There are some people you can just sit back and watch like television – Holland is one of them. If I was feeling sad, I’d switch Henry Holland on. If I had a hang-over, I’d make him come round and talk to me as I lay prone with nausea and giggles.
Doubtless this is part of the reason behind his astronomical rise, from one-time teen-magazine fashion k editor to fully fledged designer, with several successful collaborations under his belt (including a range for Debenhams available in 150 stores nationwide), and a presenting slot on Sky Living’s Styled to Rock programme alongside the pop star Nicola Roberts. He presented his spring 2013 collection in London last month and is taking it to show to press in Paris after our interview, then he’s off to Russia for a while. And his first collection of sunglasses launches this month, too.
Posted on October 5, 2012
“It’s two different things, isn’t it, to be serious and to be taken seriously,” the 29-year-old continues. “It doesn’t keep me up at night, but I would like to be taken more seriously. That’s what the new collection was about – trying to show that there is growth and development, and that you don’t have to use the word fun every time you talk about my clothes. I’m so over the word fun. But we’ve said it now, haven’t we?”
The collection he is talking about was shown to press and buyers – and his attendant gaggle of bright young things – in a Soho car park a few weeks ago. His signature pop-culture schtick remains, with a jokey soundtrack of 1990s anthems and T-shirts emblazoned with the word “bitchin’” (“Everybody thinks it said ‘bitch’,” he says, looking stricken, “because the model’s hair was so thick”), albeit toned down with a more sober colour palette and more tailored pieces. Shadow-check separates morphed into floral dresses with exaggerated frills and peplums, before tie-dye took over, in electric blues and pinks and acid-rave neons.
“It was a bit darker and moodier than normal,” Holland says. “We darkened the palette a bit, we used black for the first time – we made a black dress and then dropped it from the collection. For summer, you know…” He rolls his eyes. “I thought summer was the perfect time to do my first black dress.”
Posted on October 4, 2012
Contrarianism aside, he has come a long way since his first catwalk show in 2007 – hosted as part of the Fashion East collective, a scheme that supports young designers – when he failed to realise what season he was designing for until the models lined up to walk.
“I got an intern who taught me how to pattern-cut a long T-shirt, and taught me how to use the overlocker [stitching machine],” he remembers. “And I worked with a friend who helped me make some clear plastic macs that you could read the T-shirts through. But the other designers’ line-ups were all girls in knitwear and mine were all in T-shirt dresses. I was like, ‘Oh my God, it’s winter!’”
Holland grimaces in mock-fear. But his enthusiasm and drive – his chutzpah and his own admission of never having tried to be a traditional “designer” (he has no formal training and has learnt on the job) – are inseparable from his success, founded not just on one bright idea, but also on a cult of personality that has grown up around Holland and his clique, which includes the likes of Alexa Chung, Kelly Osbourne and Pixie Geldof, who can be seen on these pages modelling House of Holland’s pre-spring/summer collection.
“It’s often seen as being very happy and frivolous,” he says, “and I’m fine with that because that’s what k we’re about. But I wanted people to see a bit more, to talk about something different.”
Posted on October 3, 2012
Holland has been making people talk since 2006. It was at London Fashion Week that the public first saw his slogan T-shirts, when designers Gareth Pugh and Giles Deacon took their post-show bows, each wearing a Holland design in homage to the other. “Get yer freak on, Giles Deacon,” read Pugh’s. “UHU, Gareth Pugh,” said Deacon’s in return.
“There wasn’t a plan,” he says emphatically. “In hindsight it was the world’s best PR strategy, but I was at Gareth’s show and somebody said he was wearing the T-shirt. I sat there panicking, not paying any attention to his clothes. And the reason I did them was because I’d made these other two T-shirts and they’d bombed.”
The original prototypes were odes, in typical Holland style, to pop-culture icons Coleen Rooney and Lindsay Lohan, then famous for their respective shopping and alcohol addictions. “BUY THIS COLEEN” read the first.
“It was when she was in the paper every day with all these bags,” he remembers. “She actually bought that one, which was quite funny, but, yeah, those T-shirts were terrible. And Gareth took the piss about my failed T-shirt business, so my retort was, ‘Oh, I’ll make one with your name on it and that’ll really sell, won’t it?’ And it did actually.”
Others followed, all with witty (Holland’s word for it is “obnoxious”) slogans in a 1980s “Frankie Say Relax”, Katherine Hamnett pastiche: “Do me daily, Christopher Bailey” for the chief creative officer of Burberry; “Cause me pain, Hedi Slimane” for the notoriously absolutist designer then at Dior Homme.
Posted on October 2, 2012
What started as a joke between friends soon blossomed as a business and a social scene, with Holland and his crowd at its centre. Just before the credit crunch hit, east London was the world’s stomping ground and the young designers it had nurtured were in demand.
At this point, Holland was working at the teen magazine Bliss, living in a flat with a friend from his schooldays and would-be model Agyness Deyn. He set up his own business alongside his day-job, selling his T-shirts through his website and shooting them on Deyn for promo imagery. The story was picked up by Grazia and things really took off.
“I sat at my desk all day, then I’d sit there all night and ship out my international sales through the work post,” he smiles. “My editor kept saying, ‘We’re going through a lot of Jiffy bags.’ I was using the fashion cupboard as my stockroom. I was once in the middle of a meeting with my editor and my phone rang, and it was someone from American Vogue. I just stood up and walked out of the meeting.”
During the first few weeks and months after the inception of House of Holland, the designer found himself between two very different lifestyles – the first, living with Deyn and his schoolfriend Jessica Fletcher (now one of his closest colleagues) in a two-room flat where beds were slept in on a rotational basis; the second, flying with Deyn on a modelling job to New York, meeting Anna Wintour, having his picture taken by Steven Meisel, and going to a sales meeting with the department store Barney’s. k
“I met Barney’s literally with a carrier bag full of T-shirts,” he says. “I didn’t understand the enormity of it. I was wearing a vest with jewels stitched on to it when we met Anna Wintour. And a Karl Lagerfeld for H&M sequinned blazer. With a white jean. I feel sick.”
Holland quit his job two months later, and started working on his first show – the one with the plastic macs. After that came another collection with Fashion East of studded biker jackets and hot pants, before Holland’s first stand-alone show for autumn 2008 – a year after he left his magazine job. “In a way, I’m very ambitious,” he admits. “I want to have a brand. I don’t have a specific three-year business plan, but I have a plan in the back of my head of how I want to grow and build a business.
Posted on October 1, 2012
“Paul Smith is a big idol of mine,” he continues, having interviewed the designer recently for British Vogue’s website. “Not the most high fashion or directional, but he’s been doing it for 30 years and every single day he’s bowled over by the fact he does a thing he loves.”
Smith and Holland are not all that different when it comes to it: both work in a quintessentially British vein (Holland has reworked heritage fabrics such as tartan and tweed according to his own irreverent world-view, while Smith overhauled fusty tailoring for modern customers), both understand the importance of franchising and growth in distant markets (Holland’s Pretty Polly hosiery line, featuring trompe l’oeil suspender belts have become a hit across the globe, while Smith is a godlike figure in the Far East), and both came to London young, with the hope of making their fortune in the city of grit and glamour.
“When you grow up in a tiny village called Ramsbottom [Greater Manchester], which I did, you do whatever you can to get out,” he says. “I know that sounds bad. But you gravitate towards the glamour. We used to buy The Face and i-D and think it made us cool. My mum used to find them and say, ‘Is this a gay magazine?’ She was desperate for the answer to be yes.”
Nostalgia for the 1990s, the era when Holland was daydreaming of leaving home, permeates every collection; his is an affectionate aesthetic rooted in the decade that style forgot, as it has since been dubbed. “It was when I was growing up,” he says, fondly, “when I first became aware of fashion and what was great – and what was terrible – about it.”
The soundtrack to Holland’s most recent show featured the 1994 hit “Trouble” by one-hit-wonder girl band Shampoo. He was later told that a tween in the audience had asked when the song would be released; clearly his tastes are in line with youth sentiment.
“Shampoo is the greatest thing that ever happened to the world and so are these clothes,” laughs Pixie Geldof, giving her friend a double thumbs-up on the shoot. “He thinks about the people who buy them. A lot of the time designers forget to love what they make, and he just thinks everything is fun and brilliant. And it is.”
She’s right, of course, but Holland – who at this point is trying on a pair of shades with adjustable wiggly eyebrows attached to their frames – is not going to thank me for using the “F” word again.
Posted on July 15, 2012
Katy Perry dating John Mayer?
The popstar has been linked to several showbiz names since her split from comedian Russell Brand, with Mayer the latest on the list.Sources claim that the two stars were spotted out in Soho LA last week, before heading back to her house to share a pizza.
Guests at Soho House who saw the pair said “they were all over each other”, reports The Sun.
Perry and Mayer have also been spending time together in the studio as they work on new material for Perry’s next album.
Mayer said in a recent interview that he wanted to “completely avoid drugs, alcohol, clubbing, red-carpet events, dating celebrities and anything else that would detract from the music”.
Since splitting from Brand, Perry has been linked to French Chanel model Baptiste Giabiconi and Florence and the Machine guitarist Rob Ackroyd.
Posted on July 12, 2012
Plastered ‘DWTS’ Pamela Anderson Dating ‘Secret Life’ Greg Finley? Nasty!
A plastered Pamela Anderson looked violently disheveled and unkempt after partying entirely too hard as she celebrated her return to DWTS on September 24th. Anderson will be joining other unique characters such as Bristol Palin as well as Kirstie Alley.
Is Dancing with the Stars looking for a motley crue this year? It appears the producers are ramping up for an exciting and dramatic season with these characters.
As Pamela Anderson, 45, entered the Trousdale Lounge, she looked breathtaking. She wore her hair perfectly tousled with curls and a hot and sexy white mini skirt. She looked classy, but smoking hot at the same time.
However, when the DWTS reality star exited the lounge, she appeared “disheveled and her makeup (was) smudged.” Had Anderson been crying? What could have happened in the lounge to so aggressively mess up the beauty of Anderson while in the classy lounge in Beverly Hills?
Was there a hanky panky going on with Greg Finley, the actor on The Secret Life of the American Teenager? He had helped to situate the totally drunk and messed up Anderson into her cab. After she finally got settled in the taxi, she promptly slumped onto the seat and passed out. She was really messed up! What in the world went on the Trousdale Lounge?
Will Pamela Anderson be able to handle the excitement and pressures of Dancing with the Stars? Can anyone keep her away from the boos at least during this next season of DWTS? Please! It appears Anderson struggles with either holding her liquor or knowing when to quit.
Is it possible that Finley and Anderson are in a relationship? What do you think?
Posted on July 3, 2012
The happiest divorce ever: British banker gives ‘brilliant’ Bosnian ex-wife £150m – and she’s ‘thrilled’ he’s dating a supermodel.
With a personal fortune of £300 million, financier Roger Jenkins’s divorce from his Bosnian-born wife Diana was always going to be costly, but the couple have proved that parting ways doesn’t need to be nasty – even when millions are at stake.The pair, who separated three years ago, have now divorced, quietly and without an undignified courtroom fight involving overpaid lawyers.Mr Jenkins, who made his fortune as a tax expert at Barclays Bank, has awarded his wife £150 million, and the former Bosnian refugee now joins her ex-husband among Britain’s wealthiest 500 individuals.Remarkably, the estranged couple – who described their split as ‘unconventional’ – remain the ‘best of friends’ and say they have ‘the happiest divorce ever’. Diana is even said to be ‘thrilled’ at his new relationship – with supermodel Elle Macpherson.
Mr Jenkins has told friends: ‘I love Diana and have such admiration for her as a mother, businesswoman and someone who was brilliant as a wife.
‘We have moved on and are supremely happy with the arrangements we have in our lives. Diana will always be a very happy part of my life.’
Sources say there was no wrangling over 56-year-old Mr Jenkins’s fortune, which he accumulated during his decade at Barclays.
The couple, who were married for ten years and have two children, have amicably carved up their property portfolio, which includes luxury homes around the world.
Their £25 million clifftop estate overlooking Malibu beach is in joint names and while Diana, 37, lives in the main house with their two children, Mr Jenkins has an adjoining house on the five-acre estate.
Mr Jenkins, who divides his time between Sao Paulo in Brazil and North America, has bought a house in the Santa Monica hills. The couple have sold their townhouse in Mayfair, which was in Mrs Jenkins’s name, and are believed to be sharing their holiday home in Bosnia.
They will continue to hire their marble-floored yacht Utopia, on which Diana entertains celebrity friends including George Clooney.
While she was enjoying a private break last week, her ex-husband was with their children and Diana’s parents at the lake house in Bosnia.
Diana, now a successful businesswoman with her own lucrative drinks brand, has told friends she is delighted with the payout and that she and Mr Jenkins have stayed on good terms.
‘All is great, life is good, Roger is wonderful – class all the way to the end,’ she told friends last week. ‘He is and always will be my best friend. He is the father of my children and I will always love him.’
Posted on July 2, 2012
Diana, who left London for LA three years ago when the couple split, is said to have been dating a younger man for two years, while Mr Jenkins is dating Miss Macpherson, as The Mail on Sunday revealed.
He and the 48-year-old lingerie model were recently photographed on holiday in Ibiza and, despite seeming an unlikely match, are said to be very happy.
Mr Jenkins, a former rugby player and amateur runner, is a sports fanatic and is said to love Elle’s passion for the outdoors. News of the divorce suggests that the relationship is serious.
When Diana and Mr Jenkins separated, she said she was in no hurry to divorce, and would do so only when he met someone else – something he said ‘is never going to happen’.
Says a friend: ‘They say they have the happiest divorce ever, and they do. Everybody’s super-happy. Diana is thrilled that Roger has found happiness with Elle; we all thought she’d be cut up about it, but she’s delighted.
‘She really likes Elle and wants Roger to be happy. He seems to be, and the relationship is very serious. Diana has been telling people that it’s great and she has a great settlement and she’s delighted.’
Despite the record payout, Mr Jenkins – the man credited with saving Barclays at the height of the credit crunch – is still one of the country’s wealthiest people. In this year’s Sunday Times Rich List the Scots-born financier was worth £272 million and ranked 290 out of 2,000.
He was up £122 million from the previous year after becoming a managing partner in Brazilian bank BTG Pactual, where he had a share in the bank’s £10 billion flotation.
For the first time his wife is now also in the list, at 457. As chairman of Neuro Brands, a line of health drinks in which her husband is understood to still have a share, she hopes to become even wealthier.
Mr Jenkins made his millions at Barclays, joining as a graduate trainee and earning more than £120 million in three years from 2004.
He was once the highest paid man at the bank when he ran the legal but controversial tax avoidance division at Barclays Capital. He then went to head the investment banking division in the Middle East.
Last week it was reported he is to be investigated by the Financial Services Authority over £4.5 billion of investment in Barclays he secured from Qatar and other Middle Eastern investors that saw him earn an estimated £30 million in the process.
Posted on July 1, 2012
He was later part of a group that raised another £7.3 billion. The deals helped Barclays avoid state ownership during the credit crunch, but it was claimed the Middle Eastern investors were getting a better return on their money than ordinary shareholders could expect.
The FSA declined to comment, but a Barclays insider said: ‘Who would not want to woo the Qataris when they spend £35 billion a year on investment holdings – that is more than £100 billion in the years that the FSA seems to be interested in.
Not to try to get close to the Qatari government would have been bizarre. To have got their money was a benefit for Britain. I am not sure why the FSA would want to look into this.’
Mr Jenkins has previously credited his wife for helping to negotiate the bailout from Qatar. A formidable networker, Diana was born Sanela Dijana Catic but changed her name when she arrived in England from Sarajevo in 1993.
She spoke no English, and had no money and no family but saved enough to enrol at London’s City University. In her time there she launched an investment fund, through which she met her husband. They married in 1999, the same year their son, Innis, was born. Daughter Eneya was born three years later.
When the couple separated Mr Jenkins promised he would be generous when it came to the settlement. Last year he told The Mail on Sunday: ‘Will she take half my money? Of course. And quite rightly so. Without her, I would not have anything like the success I have had.’
Posted on June 17, 2012
Teen dating violence has Grand Forks’ attention.
The youth of Grand Forks have spoken, and yes, teen-dating violence is a problem. Four out of five listening sessions conducted by Safer Tomorrows, a collaborative project involving area nonprofits and local governments, found that teens are concerned about dating violence.
The youth of Grand Forks have spoken, and yes, teen-dating violence is a problem.
Four out of five listening sessions conducted by Safer Tomorrows, a collaborative project involving area nonprofits and local governments, found that teens are concerned about dating violence.
“We know that it is very much underreported,” said project Coordinator Julie Christianson, because “we don’t see a great number of youth coming forward right now,” despite results from national studies and statewide listening sessions.
In a 2009 report released by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 9.8 percent of students, nationwide, reported being physically hurt by a boyfriend or girlfriend.
According to the 2009, North Dakota and National Youth and Risk Behaviors Survey, 8.5 percent of students in Grades 7 to 12, from participating schools, reported being physically hurt by a boyfriend or girlfriend.
But now that the word is out, groups from all over the county have joined together in a collective effort to fulfill one of the pillars of the Grand Forks promise to protect youth. Participating schools will have the option to implement any of the following programs aimed at preventing teen-dating violence this fall.
Among the programs Safer Tomorrows members provide are:
• Friendships that Work, started a couple years ago and is a middle school based curriculum that teaches early adolescents how to build positive, lasting friendships through honesty, integrity and trust.
“Research shows, stronger friendships build stronger adult relationships,” said Staci Metzger, a prevention and education specialist at the Community Violence Intervention Center.
• The Fourth R focuses on overcoming relationship challenges without resorting to violence. This will be a continuum of Friendships that Work. It’s designed for 9th and 10th graders and includes 21 lesson plans that teachers can choose from.
• Coaching Boys into Men involves a training session where coaches learn how to have conversations with athletes about the importance of value and respect in relationships.
“Coaches will have real structures and real talks,” Christianson said.
The overall goals are to teach kids how to build strong friendships and to recognize what healthy relationships should look and feel like.
Often times, children learn what they live, so violence witnessed or experienced in the home is reflected in how they handle future conflicts.
“It goes from teen dating to college dating to adult relationships,” said Pete Haga, the city’s community/government relations officer.
Therefore, it’s essential that children who have been exposed to violence in the home learn “appropriate ways to deal with situations,” added Therese Hugg, CVIC’s wellness coordinator.
“Domestic violence is portrayed by anger,” she said. The CVIC’s early prevention programs aim to teach younger children healthy relationship and coping skills, she said.
The Safer Tomorrows project came out of two U.S. Department of Justice grants totaling $2.2 million. Grand Forks is one of eight demonstration sites chosen for the department’s Defending Childhood Initiative.
Haga said he believes part of the reason this area was chosen is because of its high community involvement and dedication to children.
But it’s not just the youth who will have lessons to learn about ending the cycle of violence, he said, it’s everyone. “That’s how you get a real community change.”
He said he hopes the programs will have such a positive impact on the community that in five to 10 years, “the nation will be employing North Dakota methodologies all across the country.”
More to come.
Besides its work with Safer Tomorrows, the CVIC also offers programs such as Youth Dating Violence and How to Avoid a Jerk or Jerkette.
Metzger said, these programs are not just for schools and can be tailored to meet the needs of intended audiences. “Anybody can call and request a presentation.”
On average, 85 to 100 percent of children who participate in CVIC prevention programs, “show improvement in coping skills,” said Hugg, through learning how to interact in positive and healthy ways.
And that is what Christianson believes is, “the most important thing if we want to end teen violence.”
A Safer Tomorrows website is currently in the works. The group also plans to host a kickoff in September where additional information will be available.
Posted on June 14, 2012
Now, a new app to rescue people from bad date!
A new application has been created that allows users to receive a pre programmed call to help them bow out of a bad date. The Bad Date Rescue app developed for Apple’s iPhone by the dating website eHarmony.com, was launched this week. “There are all sorts of reasons for why people would want to get out of a date,” Sydney Morning Herald quoted Arvind Mishra, director of product management at eHarmony, as saying.
“We can all sympathise because we have all been on bad dates in our lifetime,” he said. The free app includes several ways to set up a rescue. Users can pick a number from their address book for the call, for example from their mother or a friend.
If the person’s picture is stored on the app, it will appear on the screen when the call comes through. There are scripts are available giving the reason for the call, such as a neighbor calling about a leaky pipe; a mother informing that a sister just had a baby; or a boss saying he needs help immediately. “It graciously allows you to play along and to get out of that situation,” Mishra said.
The app can be pre-set before the date to call at a specific time and there is a quick rescue that can be triggered on the spot to ring in a few seconds or minutes.
“There are all sorts of reasons for why people want to get out of a date. We are helping them do it in a way that is fun and light and not abrupt,” Mishra added.
Posted on June 11, 2012
Jenelle Evans’ Ex Is Dating the Girl He Cheated on Her With.
Jenelle Evans and Gary Head ended their engagement just about a month ago and already, they have both moved on with someone new. Jenelle is back with her ex-boyfriend, Kieffer Delp, and Gary Head has just began dating one of the women he allegedly cheated on Jenelle with!
Jenelle took to her Twitter account this afternoon to announce, “Ewwwww, yu date the girl u cheated on me with who s**ked yu off in a parking lot when u cheated on me? EW F**K. Lmfaoooooooo !” If Gary would date someone with such a lack in morals, he clearly has a lot of growing up to do. Thank goodness Jenelle got away from that relationship. Jenelle wants to regain custody of her son and needs someone equipped to be a step-daddy to her two-year-old son, Jace.
Gary had reportedly cheated on Jenelle a few times and their lack of trust led to many battles, as it does in any relationship. The two’s relationship lasted nearly seven months and was filled with turmoil including several break-ups. These two are definitely better off apart.
Jenelle later pointed out, “If she s**ked u off in a parking lot to cheat on me, what makes u think she won’t cheat on u?!” She likely will—or vice versa. If they are both cheaters, their relationship may even turn out to be more drama-filled than Jenelle and Gary’s relationship.
Jenelle Evans will return in Teen Mom 2 season 3 later this year.
Posted on June 10, 2012
“My men are getting younger but Harry Styles is just out of the wrapper”: Emmerdale Natalie on dating, her body and delight at sexy fanmail.
After the storyline where Moira had an affair with Cain Dingle, I got loads and loads of young men writing calling me a MILF
Her affairs as farmer Moira Barton have provided Emmerdale with some of its raunchiest scenes ever.And Moira is about to set tongues wagging again when she has a fling with a 21-year-old toy boy.Not surprisingly, Natalie Robb’s sexy character has always attracted a bulging sack of fan mail… but these days a growing number of her admirers are men young enough to be her son.
“After the storyline where Moira had an affair with Cain Dingle, I got loads and loads of young men writing to me calling me a MILF,” says Natalie, 37.“They range from 25 down to 21 and some are as young as 19. There’s definitely been a change, I think they’ve seen me in a different light. Of course I’m flattered. They say they like the sexy side of mucky Moira coming out.”Many of the young men compliment Natalie on her womanly curves. “A lot of them say that they’re not just attracted to slim women,” she says.
“They like something to hold on to is the way they put it. It makes them feel as if they’re holding a woman, not a boy.”
Natalie lost a stone two years ago through a combination of exercise and healthy eating. Despite giving up smoking last year she has managed to keep her weight at a steady nine stone, running for three miles every morning before work.
“I’m happy with my shape and who I am,” she says, cheerfully. “I think it’s great that dramas such as Emmerdale show that women can be women and don’t have to be skinny. That’s real life.
“A lot of our audience are housewives who look after kids. A lot of them are normal curvy women like me. It’s good to show you don’t have to be really slim to be attractive.”
In the latest storyline, widow Moira is about to fall into the arms of hunky young farm worker Alex Moss, played by 21-year-old actor Kurtis Stacey.
Posted on June 10, 2012
Natalie admits she quite happily dates younger men herself. “They’re getting younger as I’m getting older,” she jokes. “But you’re as old as the man you feel!
“I’m not talking a massive age gap… possibly six years tops. I probably looked older when I was 22 than I do now.
“Age isn’t an issue to me. I don’t know why Harry from One Direction gets so much criticism for dating older women. He’s enjoying life and maybe he just prefers girls that are older.
“He’s a little bit young for me though… that’s what you call just out of the wrapper.
“I’m attracted to younger and older men equally.
“Women are labelled cougars if they date a younger man, but I think attitudes are gradually changing.”
Not that Natalie is in any rush to settle down. Currently single, she says: “When I was younger I used to stay in relationships for the wrong reasons, because I thought they might get better, but life is too short.
“I’m having a much better time now, not necessarily getting too involved. I feel much more centred than I did when I was younger. If you are happy with yourself, that’s when everything falls into place.”
The Glasgow-born actress has been in Emmerdale for three years, her longest-ever run in a TV show since she began work 28 years ago.
And she’s so taken with the soap and the surrounding Yorkshire countryside that last year she bought her first-ever home, just outside Leeds.
“I never really knew where I wanted to put down roots until now,” she explains. “Yorkshire is beautiful and the closest thing I’ll get to Scotland right now. It’s also really central for getting to London for work and back to Scotland.”
Posted on June 10, 2012
Mum-of-two Moira, meantime, has moved on from her fling with village bad boy Cain Dingle. Earlier this year her husband John was killed in a road accident and since then she has thrown herself into running the family farm, with the help of son Adam and farmhand Alex.
But her casual flirtation with the young farm worker is about to step up a gear. He starts taking his top off in the house and there’s a lot of torso showing,” says Natalie. “It’s not a bad body I have to say, and I’m getting paid to look at it.
“Moira thinks he’s quite sweet and when he splits up with his girlfriend she starts to fancy him. It’s that old thing, when you know that somebody fancies you, you suddenly start to look at them in a different light.”
Despite having had plenty of experience with love scenes, Natalie admits she was still thrown when she came to kiss Kurtis.
“It’s not the fact of him being young, it was more the way he kissed me,” she laughs. “Bloomin’ heck.
“I thought, ‘Right, you’ve been thinking about that sunshine’. He just went for it. The producer said to me afterwards, ‘I can’t believe I’m putting this on at 7 o’ clock’. He said the scenes looked fantastic but he was worried about the watershed.”
Natalie made her screen debut at the age of nine in a docu-drama with fellow-Scot Tom Conti. Then at 15 she joined long-running Scottish soap opera Take The High Road.
She moved to London, appearing in Sunburn, London’s Burning and Doctors and spent two years in The Bill as undercover PC Andrea Dunbar.
She also appeared briefly in EastEnders as Max Branning’s mistress Gemma Clewes before joining Emmerdale in 2009.
As for the future, she saysshe has no plans to leave the 40-year-old soap.
“As long as they’re happy with me and I’m happy, then why change it?” she says.
“It’s a lovely place to work and I’m still enjoying it.”
And with a cheeky reference to her upcoming storyline, she grins: “You know why…”
- Emmerdale is on ITV1 on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday at 7pm, and on Thursday 7pm and 8pm.
Posted on June 1, 2012
I get nervous on dates: Mila Kunis.
Actress Mila Kunis, who is in the news for her reported closeness to Ashton Kutcher, says she is not seeing anyone and admits she finds it daunting to go on a date.
“First, I have to find some time to start seeing a guy, which is tough for me because I’m terrible on dates and I get nervous and don’t always feel comfortable or natural in those situations. I don’t know why that is,” a website quoted Kunis as saying.
The 28-year-old, who was in a relationship with Macaulay Culkin from 2002 to 2010, admits being famous can make things difficult for finding a boyfriend. That’s the reason why she feels its easier to date another actor.
“It does sometimes change the dynamic, in the sense that you are more well known and people presuppose more about you because they’ve seen your work and maybe read things about you.
“But usually you meet people in the same business, so you are not feeling awkward if you or the guy you met has just had a big film out, or whatever,” she said.
Posted on May 5, 2012
Meet the dating coach who can turn duds into studs in 1 month.
US woman claims that she can turn both men and women from “duds to studs” in flat 30 days. Joann Cohen boasts of a master’s degree in education and a concentration in human relations and counseling, and has been working as a dating coach to help both men and women with their dating woes since 2008.
“The most important thing in life is finding love and there’s nothing more rewarding in life than achieving that goal,” Cohen said.
The four-week program begins with an assessment. Cohen evaluates the client’s strengths and weaknesses and then designs a plan to get the client into action.
The 55-year-old insists on putting her clients in action, whether in the comfort of her office or out in the field, practicing in real-life situations.
The program costs around 2,300 dollars also includes a makeover with an image consultant.
Cohen explained that many men go for “the close” too quickly, but she insisted that if a woman knows the man is trying to pick her up, she will be quickly turned off of the idea.
Cohen explains that when it comes to dating, the most important thing for a man is body language. Appearing confident makes women feel comfortable and safe. However, conversation skills are a close second.
“[The guys] get near a beautiful woman and their minds freeze,” a major news channel quoted her as saying.
She encourages men to dump cheesy pick-up lines for casual conversation starters.
According to Cohen, a good strategy is to talk about current surroundings—commenting on a nearby restaurant or store, pets, or tattoos could be good conversation starters. She thinks that the biggest mistake a guy can make is appearing too nervous.
Cohen also encourages both men and women to stay away from “energy vampires,” people who complain about the opposite sex. In addition, one of her most important pieces of advice is to never give up.
“Focus on the positives. There are a lot of great guys and girls out there. Look for relationship material in people. The guy who could be that forever partner might be shy, but he could have a spark that could grow,” Cohen said.
However, not everyone welcomes the concept of dating coaches so openly. Little research has been done on dating coaches, especially since there’s no central accreditation agency. Experts encourage skepticism while considering getting help from dating coaches.
“If the person is getting good advice on positive relationship skills, then that could be good. There’s a lot of research on relationships to help those skills, but there’s no licensing required, so there’s no quality control on their training,” said Charles Hill, Ph.D., professor of psychology at Whittier College.
Carl Hindy, Ph.D. and author of “If This is Love, Why Do I Feel So Insecure?” explained that there could be serious repercussions in poor treatment.
“People are drawn to the doctor of desperation…They feel like they’ve played their last card, but somebody’s only going to go for help so many times,” Hindy added.
Posted on May 1, 2012
Be careful in dating a neighbor.
Q: I am wondering if it’s OK to have a relationship with my neighbor. I am attracted to the man who lives next door to me, and I think the feelings might be mutual, but I don’t know for sure. When I first moved into my house four years ago, I was in a serious relationship, which ended a year later. A few months after that, every time I was in my backyard, my neighbor would come out of his house and flirt with me. I backed away because I wasn’t over my past relationship yet.
After a while, of course, he got the message and became sort of cold toward me. We wave at each other and have short conversations, but nothing like it was. I think he’s still interested in me, but I just don’t know, and also I don’t know if I should try and pursue something with him. He seems like a nice guy, and is easy to talk to, but I don’t know how to get over being scared about taking a chance with him.
Plus, it might be too late with him since I rebuffed his advances previously. HELP!!!
- J.R., Depew
A: I think it might be best to rebuild the friendship for now. He may have taken your rejection as a sign that you simply didn’t like him. In any case, it’s tricky because he lives next door, and you’re smart to worry about how things might be if a relationship doesn’t work out. You should take things much more slowly than you normally would.
Consider taking a plate of cookies over to his house, or invite him over the next time you have a gathering or a barbecue. It’s important to take the time to get to know him before you make a decision about a romantic relationship. If you do decide to date him, it’s necessary to talk to him about the potential consequences. Set clear boundaries and you should be on the same page, especially in the event of a breakup.
He’s not ready
Q:I am having trouble with my new girlfriend. We have been dating for a couple weeks and she wants to have sex, but I feel intimidated and afraid of not fulfilling her. I don’t have a ton of sexual experience, and I am feeling anxiety over it. It’s quite embarrassing, too, since it’s usually the man who wants sex earlier on. Is there anything I can do?
- M.O., Southtowns
A: You’re clearly not ready for a sexual relationship with this woman. It’s normal to feel nervous or anxious about having sex with someone new for the first time, but you shouldn’t push yourself. A couple of weeks is not a long time at all, and maybe you’ll feel more comfortable with her physically if you continue to get to know her more as a person. If she’s someone worthwhile, she will understand your desire to take things slow and will wait until you feel ready. Women expect men to wait for them, so women should in turn show men that same respect. Don’t feel ashamed or embarrassed that it’s taking you longer than her to reach that level; I think it’s admirable that you want to wait until you’re ready.
Posted on April 18, 2012
Is 1D’s Niall Horan dating Harry Styles’ model ex?
One Direction’s Niall Horan is reportedly experiencing “a classic case of sloppy seconds.”
The singer was said to be dating Demi Lovato, but it seems that Niall has had his sights set on another for quite some time.
Niall is rumoured to have been seeing model Alahna Aldridge, his bandmate Harry Styles’ ex, for several months.
“It’s a classic case of sloppy seconds – Harry dated Alahna first,” a source told Radar Online.
“Until January this year, Harry and Alahna were seeing one another but there was nothing serious going on.
“Then, just a few months later, Alahna became smitten with Niall and they have been dating ever since.”
Harry doesn’t have any hard feelings about Niall and Alahna’s romance.
“Harry was a little put out at first – he was sweet on Alahna and he’s not used to losing out on a girl to another guy,” the source explained.
“But, despite the initial tension, all was forgiven and Harry told Niall he was happy for him. It’s not as if Harry is short of female attention himself.”
Posted on April 10, 2012
Teenage dating: Program advises teens on how to break up safely.
Start Strong, a nationwide program, aims to teach teens how to prevent dating violence. At a ‘Break-Up Summit’ in Boston, local public health officials talked with teens about healthy relationships.
Andrew Curtin said it happened at least twice at his Boston-area high school in the last year. Angry about a breakup, a boy ended up at the school nurse’s office with a broken hand after punching a locker or a wall.”You don’t think about when you see two people walking down the hall, ‘Are they in a bad relationship or is it good?’” the 17-year-old Waltham High School senior said Thursday.
But he was among about 250 teenagers doing a lot of thinking about healthy relationships at a seminar at Simmons College on Thursday. And the dating advice was coming from an unlikely source: city government officials.Boston’s Public Health Commission partnered with local social service agencies to put on its third annual “Break-Up Summit” for teens as part of a $1 million, four-year grant from Robert Wood Johnson Foundation.
Nationwide, the $18 million program known as Start Strong is aimed at teaching teens in 11 cities to prevent dating violence. Counselors in Boston on Thursday focused on teaching teens to end relationships in ways that don’t spark negative behavior like cheating, public humiliation, or worse.
Nicole Daley, who heads Boston’s Start Strong program, said a bad teenage relationship can lead to problems like depression, low self-esteem, falling academic grades, and even unwanted pregnancies in cases where one partner tries to manipulate the other. There’s also the risk of a physically dangerous confrontation.
“In popular media, cheating is seen as an excuse for violence,” Ms. Daley said.
Posted on April 2, 2012
Recent studies by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention showed about 10 percent of students nationwide reported a boyfriend or girlfriend had physically hurt them in the last year. CDC statistics also showed that among adults who were victims of rape, physical violence or stalking by an intimate partner, 15 percent of men and 22 percent of women first experienced some kind of partner violence when they were between 11 and 17 years old.
Teens who were part of Thursday’s seminar described a dating scene where social media can make ending relationships even more emotionally fraught. Many said that changing one’s Facebook status back to “single” was the worst way to break up with a significant other.
“The world knows before you do,” said Cassie Desrochers, 17, another Waltham High senior.
“A relationship is personal. The whole world shouldn’t know about it.”
President Esta Soler, president of Futures Without Violence, the nonprofit that helped design the Start Strong program, said that social media also complicates teen relationships because a bad rumor can travel far in seconds.
“When I was growing up … we had a telephone and we didn’t have voicemail and it took a lot of work to spread it,” she said.
Ms. Soler also said breakups always used to be in person. But that’s not the case anymore.
On Thursday, teens talked about breaking up by sending a text message, or being on the receiving end of one. They also spoke about fights they’d seen in their schools between students who were in competition for another student’s affections, or felt jilted after a relationship ended badly.
Counselors at the forum urged teens to communicate with partners about relationship boundaries, together defining whether they were “just texting,” casually “hooking up,” ”friends with benefits,” or in a monogamous relationship.They also encouraged students to end relationships with face-to-face contact, and to look for warning signs that ongoing relationships could turn abusive.
“Now I’ve got all the information,” said West Roxbury High School sophomore Tyler Jones, who’s training as a Start Strong peer leader. “I realize you’ve got to give your partner space. You don’t need to be hugging up on them all day.”
Posted on March 20, 2012
OFW guide: Thinking of dating a co-worker? Many think it’s ‘bad romance’.
“I want your love, and all your love is revenge. You and me could write a bad romance.”
So goes Lady Gaga’s song “Bad Romance,” which is how some relationship experts describe “office romance.”
There’s nothing “ethically wrong” with having a romantic fling with an officemate but in most workplaces, it is discouraged.
The news site Forbes.com said, “Dating someone from work will not be easy, so don’t act on your first fleeting desire.”
When you’re not absolutely sure that you would like to be with that person for good, it is better not to pursue an office romance.
“Stop and ask yourself, ‘Am I really into this person?’ If the answer’s ‘No,’ or even ‘Not Really,’ it may be best to continue pursuing love outside the office,” Forbes.com said.
Office romance has its pros and cons. Some people think “it’s convenient” while others say it’s a risk that could end their career.
The information site “Knoji” pointed out the pros and cons of having a relationship with a colleague in the office:
(1) Spending a lot of time together — For most lovers, spending time together is what keeps the relationship intact.
If your lover is your officemate, you will probably be spending the whole day with her. You might even ask yourself why you are being paid to be with your beloved.
(2) Knowing the same people — This could be a great thing because you’ll know what kind of people she’s with in the office.
(1) Spending too much time together — Too much of anything is always bad. Spending too much time together in the office may lead to boredom, taking each other for granted, and eventually a big break-up.
(2) When you fight, your officemates are bound to take sides — While it may be good to have common friends in the office, when you fight or break up, they will most likely take sides. Some friends might feel that they are closer to you than her and vice versa.
The problem? Some friends may become ‘frenemies’ if you guys break up.
Posted on March 10, 2012
The information site About.com, a New York Times company, gives more reasons why you should totally avoid having an office relationship:
(1) Distracting — Any kind of relationship will definitely be distracting. This may affect your productivity and efficiency as an employee. You could end up jobless due to your supposed “inspiration.”
(2) Confusing — A relationship with a co-worker will change the way you treat each other, whether you like it or not. It will be difficult to put a boundary on when and where you act as lovers. This may confuse both of you when it comes to work-related agendas.
(3) Blinding — People say love is blind. But is that still the case when you start realizing nasty stuff about your lover because you had an argument an hour ago before work?
Later on, you might stay in an office relationship not because you still want to but out of fear that your work relationship will be forever ruined once you press the red button.
(4) Breaking up — Once you decided that things couldn’t be worked out anymore and you have to go different ways, you will feel an emptiness that was once filled with love that blossomed in the office.
The sad fact is, you’re still working together, it’s painful just to get a glimpse her and it would be torture to see her quickly replacing you with – guess what? – your best office buddy.
Dating your boss.
A lot of people think that dating your boss gives you special treatment, gossip immunity, and powers beyond that of a “mere employee.”
Sure, sometimes you will get a slight advantage when your boss loves you. However, don’t always expect that things will always be easy for you.
The truth is, it just makes everyone aware of your relationship. They will all be waiting like starved dogs for any little thing that happens between the two of you, including arguments and public displays of affection.
Posted on March 5, 2012
Relationship do’s and don’ts.
Meanwhile, the information site “Relationships-Affairs” gives a few tips to keep you out of unnecessary trouble in the office:
(1) Don’t start a relationship if you’re not serious about it.
(2) Don’t start a relationship if you don’t see it as something long-term.
(3) Don’t entertain the idea of having flings in the office.
(4) Don’t do anything intimate in the office such as touching and kissing.
(5) Never have an affair with a married co-employee.
(6) Never bring personal problems, especially heartaches, with you to the office.
(7) Delay a possible relationship and think things out first if the person is someone you work directly with.
(8) Respect your colleagues regardless of your or your lover’s position in the company.
Ending a relationship just because it was born at the “wrong” place doesn’t really do anyone justice, especially if you are serious.
Just make sure that you treat everyone with respect and there shouldn’t be any problems.